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journals by Shadowfane102

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Submitted on
November 18, 2013


2,124 (5 today)
29 (who?)
It's 3 AM and I literately cannot sleep. This is perhaps the most stressful subject I have typed in deviantART, and I don't expect people to agree with me, but.. here I go.
The internet is a place where one can freely speak whatever they want. But how free should it be? You can easily type up horrible things about a person and it probably won't affect you. But you know what? This is wrong. Very wrong.

Why do I say this you may ask? Well...
I took part of cyberbullying. And I know, there will be lots of people looking down at me for this, but I will bravely stand here and say the truth.
Now, I didn't necessarily troll or drew something that's downright terrible, but I did gossip. I gossiped around someone's back, and picked on them for being different. My friends and I thought that by picking on one person, it would be funny or "cool".
But do you know how wrong this truly is? This is VERY wrong. It does NOT make you cool or funny. This is a subject that's something serious and cruel and should not be taken halfheartedly.

Everyone is a human. We all have feelings, even though we refuse to admit it deep inside. And when we make fun of a person, they feel emotionally hurt.
First of all, we didn't even know the full story of the person we were picking on. How do you know if they actually have real life problems that may perhaps lead to suicide?
Second, how can we automatically assume that the person that's being picked on is actually mean themselves? Maybe they act mean because they can't help themselves, perhaps because of family or relationship problems.
Third, what do we gain after bullying? We gain absolutely nothing. Instead, we get more agony from people who are actually hurt by the impulsive, rude messages that is sent to the victim.
And how do you think the victim feels? That's right, you have no idea how the victim feels. So what's the point of adding this drama that would result to nothing? This is what I question myself when I cyberbullied with my friends.

I regretted everything I've done and I wish I would have never done it. It's sick to think that one is actually laughing at a person who is emotionally in pain. And this is why, I'm telling you not to follow my footsteps. Don't make the internet more cruel than it should be.
Think before you send. Just think: Is it worth it?
Because truthfully, it isn't worth it at all. If you have friends, then you should stay happy with them. If you're upset with somebody, then keep it to yourself. There is no need to gossip and do many horrible things to them for no reason.

In addition, some of you asked if I trolled a person by using a troll account. My answer is no, I didn't. However, I still take part of the blame. I should have stopped my friends when I had the chance, but I didn't. Instead, I just watched and did nothing besides mockery.
And this is not right, nor will it ever be.

And finally, I am very VERY sorry. To the person who I cyberbullied, I am also very very sorry. I will do anything to prevent this from happening again. I am also sorry I had to block you temporarily, because just like any human would feel like, I am afraid to see any more of this. I can't believe this is what you've been through... The pain, the despair you've been through...
All because of cyberbullying, and for the people like myself who didn't think before sending.
I should have respected your feelings, but instead I was a bully and made the drama worse. And this, this makes me very ashamed of myself. I am extremely flawed in many ways, I know. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I want to tell you that I'm sorry for everything.
You didn't deserve having such negative remarks on your page. We all deserve to be respected towards one and other, not bickering.
I promise by my soul that I will never EVER do cyberbullying again. I will tell my friends to stop the bullying as well.
Again, I am deeply sorry for this mishap, and it will never happen again. I promise.
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Shadowfane102 Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2013  Student Digital Artist
dont worry, we all think things like this a lot of the time.... a lot of the time, i look back on my past actions and either think 'what the hell was i thinking?!', 'why was i such a dork' or 'man, i'm a ----' ^^;
now, this is for that super long lournal :3 :iconletmehugyouplz:
BlazingDreamOuO Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013  Hobbyist
Dude, give yourself a pat on the back! :iconbrohugplz: It's hard to admit your own mistakes... and it's nice to know you're truthful to us. 
ThunderElectro Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I believe if this person is still on dA then you should send this journal to them.
neko-Alieth Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013  Student Artist
everyone makes mistakes ^^  is human nature, and so it is to move on with a lesson.
*cyberhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuug <3
RainbowStr8ghtJacket Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconslowhugplz: well typed my friend, well typed
PhantomtheBat Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Well said, Koda...Well said.  High-five!
Not everyone out there can understand that bullying of any form is VERY wrong. Kids can be cruel. I'm 15, so I understand. 
Support the sadness
And when I was very young, I was brutally bullied and teased by EVERYONE. They beat me up like it was a joke...And it pisses me off when I see others get treated like crap.  
I will forgive but I won't forget... :OhNoYouDont:
I know, I let my rage get out of control and then I'M the bully. I know I'm a real jerk sometimes. I'm not proud of it. There's no excuse for my actions.  :regret:
As for your "friends," it is NOT cool at all! They should have remorse as well! :rage:
At least you care and you understand the person's feelings. 

Hopefully, he/she forgives you. Pray


riolu-girl1 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
respect the koda-sodaSad hug emote 
xmadamedawnx Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013   Traditional Artist
Everyone makes mistakes. And plus at least you felt guilty about it and admit it. I'm really sadden that you had did such a thing but atleast you felt bad about it. Plus cyberbullying hurts just like actually bullieing so I do feel bad for the victim. I hope she has forgive you.
SpeedingFox Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013
I'm both disappointed, and proud of you. Disappointed because that you went along with your friends instead of stopping them, however, I'm also proud because you admitted to doing it, and not many people do that. What you said in this journal was really moving, and I learned a few valuable lessons from reading this, "You gain nothing from bullying, only the pain and sorrow of the bullied", to not judge someone just because he or she is different, to think before you send those kind of messages, and so on. Honestly, I'd rather to make a difference and help others than be a bully and jerk to them, if someone asked me to bully someone, I'll just say no and walk away. It's good to know you're making a difference. ^^
lizardlaser Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You know what, one of my friends is avoiding a special ed person because he said "This person sat on him and humped him." Not saying he's wrong or that's a lie but 
then he says do you want to be a persons friend when they humped and sat on you???? I no, but I think he should at least say hi and not run away like he is and
hurting this girls feeling. I still do like him as my friend but somethings I can't stand…. but he is a very likable guy! :3
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